Pre-Goal Attainment Positive Affect

First of all, while I am still in the process of reading The Happiness Project, I can't help but wish that I would write in my blog after reading each section and processing my feelings about it.  Per usual protocol, I haven't stuck to writing my blog everyday nor reading the book everyday (I've been letting life get in the way).  However, I supposed, if I have the time, I might read through the whole book, blogging about it when I can, and then afterward, I will re-read the book, outlining each section and pertaining it to my life as best possible.  With school, work and volunteering on my plate, we'll have to see what works.

The idea of Rubin's that I would like to touch on is pre-goal attainment positive affect.  This is basically the idea that you should be happy while reaching for a goal, not expect to be happy only when you reach a goal.  Believing that I will be happy when I reach a certain goal is, sadly, a theme of my life.  I will be happier once I have gotten back into shape.  I will be happier once I graduate nursing school.  I will be happier when I get a job.  I will be happier when I move out of Florida.  I will be happier when I find someone I truly love.  The list could go on all day.  However, something that Gretchen (via her research) outlined is that, most of the time, when you do reach a goal, you are not as happy as you would have believed you would be.  For one, you usually already expect to reach the goal, which is added into your existing happiness then, so once the goal is officially reached, no leftover happiness is obtained.  Make sense?  Additionally, in the majority of cases, once you reach a goal, a new set of responsibilities and other "set-backs" may cancel out the happiness that is achieved by reaching the goal.  An example of this can be getting a promotion- you strive for the promotion, but once it is acquired, you are given more responsibilities to worry yourself with which can deter from your happiness.  That is not to say that the goal is not worth achieving, or that working towards a goal is negative.  On the contrary, what this means is that the process of working towards the goal should bring you happiness as well and that we should not look to goal attainment as our only source of happiness.  A simpler way of putting this is enjoy the journey.

I always (notice the emphasis) base my happiness on the attainment of my goals.  I like to see my progress.  If I feel like I'm working towards something, I always tend to feel like I'm failing until I have reached it. What's more, when I don't reach what I am going for, I feel like even more of a failure.  Which makes me less likely to reach for anything else.  Which makes me more depressed.  Which makes me more introverted.  Which affects my desire to do anything that *might* make me happy.  Which affects everything in my life- friendships, family, even my pets.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  I'm not sure I am explaining this right, but I believe you get the idea.

I realize that I need to be happy with my journey.  I need to give myself credit for actually taking the steps and trying, whether I fail or succeed.  School is a great example of this, in my case.  I am in nursing school and I won't graduate until May, which will make me 25 years old (25 and a half to be exact).  This will be my first B.S.N. degree.  I should have completed this years ago.  I should have completed this in August.  All of these facts weigh greatly on my mind and, though the destination seems bright and possible, the journey is very frustrating and discouraging.  The question is, how do I achieve happiness now, rather than waiting for it to come once I graduate in May?  I believe it will take a lot of mental rearranging and I will have to force myself not to think negatively.  Ultimately, isn't that the struggle of everyday life in general?