Today, while taking the employee shuttle back to my car from the airport, I came upon a revelation. You see, today was the day of my 8-hour SafeServe training component for Chili's Too. On the bus, I was sitting next to a co-worker who said that he barely passed the exam. Now, I am no expert, but 6 years of working at the Ocean Deck didn't leave me empty handed. I passed the exam with flying colors. Not that it is a difficult test to begin with. And here was my revelation: it felt really great to exert almost nothing towards a goal and pass with such simplicity. I started to realize how lucky I am that some things just seem to come naturally to me, even if I may not value you them as much as other talents I have. Especially considering that some people struggle at tasks that seem simplistic to me in nature. This also got me thinking about nursing school and the fact that I can not just "skate-by" as I am accustomed to with educational endeavors.
Growing up, I was an excellent student. Straight A's, gifted club, 98th percentile in standardized tests. The best part was, it came extremely easy to me. In fact, pretty much all of my educational endeavors required the minimal amount of exertion for me to excel. Until nursing school, that is. All in all, until last year, I was extremely confident in my school work (for the most part). And then I had a thought. This last year and a half of my life has been lacking in moral more than usual. I can not help but to conclude that the stress from nursing school and my A-B record which I have acquired has attributed to this.
Two conclusions have come to mind from this realization. 1). Since nursing school requires me to exert myself much more than I am accustomed, and sometimes for mediocre grades, my confidence has greatly decreased accordingly. 2). I need to appreciate the small stuff that helps to build confidence, no matter how unimportant the task may appear. (After all, isn't everything relative?)
In relation to number one, yes, I do realize that fields such as nursing, medicine, and law usually require much more effort than other areas of focus. And, no, I'm not trying to sound childish by saying, "I wish I didn't have to work so hard! How unfair!" I am quite comfortable with hard work. However, it is my discouragement pertaining to the fact that when I do work hard for nursing school and it doesn't work out as I've planned that is the problem. And YES, again, I realize this is normal for a field such as nursing. I guess, in a round-a-bout way, what I'm trying to illustrate to myself is that, as long as I am doing my best, I shouldn't get discouraged because I am no longer the straight A student that I once was. As Gretchen Rubin said, "Don't let being perfect get in the way of being good," or something of that nature. And that is exactly what I usually do. If I can't be perfect at something, I lose all enthusiasm for doing it and prevent myself from trying at all. Additionally, I become depressed and my self-esteem sinks even lower than it was previously. What I need to do is make peace with being the best I can be and doing the best I can do. As long as I live by that, zero regrets about my effort, I can be okay with the outcome. Obviously, this will take some training, but I think it is a great goal.
In relation to number two, I need to enjoy the little things. For example, during my years at community college, I continually made the Dean's list. Being that it was community college, I did not put much value into the honor. In fact, it depressed me because I felt like it meant nothing at all. However, looking back at it, I should have made a bigger deal about it. I should have let myself at least feel happy about it. I mean, I may not be the most intelligent person in the world, but I'm certainly not an idiot. Regardless of how easy my grades may have been to obtain, I still earned them. Just like this SafeServe exam today. During the exam, I couldn't believe how simple it was (to me). Then, listening to my fellow co-worker, I realized that I was lucky to be able to excel in that field, regardless of how "simple" it seemed. Thinking about it, I could be much worse off. For my future and my happiness, I need to celebrate the small stuff, the little achievements. Let's face it, life doesn't always give you opportunities to achieve and excel in all of the areas you want. So, when you do succeed, regardless of the task, doesn't it make sense to celebrate- even just a little? For me, I know it will help to raise my self-esteem and make my day just a little bit brighter. If nothing else, it is just for me to realize again, just how lucky I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment